Tormented memory and a wishing soul

Hey

Hey

How is the morning treating you ?

It’s oblivious.

Isn’t it raining in your head ?

A thought of something does, as I open my eyes for an unknown, but it fades fucking away. I wish to reach that unknown someday.

I know the feeling for that feeling, I hardly understand what morning speaks to me, but I listen to it no matter what, someday it might make sense to me like the night before.

Ah the night before I miss every morning, it’s beautiful I think to miss what we love, don’t you find yourself in that dilemma ?

If I won’t, then this life won’t have the same meaning as I thought it should.

Right ? We figure out our morning thinking what and how to plan our day ahead and when it’s night we are lost like we have nothing to lose.

I wonder what makes us so free, what is it about the night ?

Dreams ? Can it be dreams. We imagine, night makes us walk far away from

The day and we find ourselves too lost from reality.

Did you ever find reality friendly ?

I wish I did but I still am waiting for the day when my imagination becomes my reality.

Isn’t that like a dream itself ?

It is, there is nothing more beautiful than dreaming what you can never have and then someday boom, we are there somewhere close to that fragile imagination and we smile.

Smile ? That will turn into sadness soon. Dangerous I would say, both the smile and sadness but nothing is more dangerous than a smile, a happiness.

People thrive on it ? Don’t they ?

They want to. That’s one thing which keeps a person keep moving forward in life, we see a small island of happiness and we make a dream boat and row as fast as we can to that small piece of shit island which is meant to drown soon, but for that one moment we row too hard too much.

Won’t you do the same ? For happiness ?

I am human too but I prefer to wait for it, might look a bit sad but that’s the beauty of it I feel, when it comes on it’s own I know I will still be sitting on the same chair in the same place not wishing not waiting but happy. That moment will not stay but I won’t have walked to far away, so I won’t feel much of the different and won’t be dissolved in the dogma of it, that won’t ruin my daily life thinking about it.

That’s like a loose thought, I don’t know I can love to be happy and happy to be loved they connect me or some of me somewhere, it’s a beautiful stage of an unknown memory, but here we are. How do you feel right now ?

Well I am having a conversation with you, I am able to find the meaning of my

Own thoughts more than I ever did, it’s crazy and it can be beautiful if we keep digging and drowning, if.

We should admire the drowning part more than anything else I always asked myself before falling on bed, it’s like a lake with nothing but strangling weed which holds you, keeps you down. In the morning even if you have a life to start it will keep you down, strangely it is sad.

Why would you think it’s sad, maybe it’s just trying that you don’t fall in the everyday life like everyone else, it doesn’t want you to wake up like everyone else?

But I think there are a lot of people who feel the same way ?

Are you sure ?

I think I can be ?

I tell you it might be a night group of people but with different imagination and then there is a group of people who actually do it, so believe the fact that the number of people who actually do it is more than the people who don’t, and who do and don’t doesn’t make much difference it’s the one who makes a difference without sleeping or who wakes up early to do something which makes a difference it’s all about a moment which changes everything.

The moments they keep changing one second or another, we are under the same sky but tomorrow when we are under the different clouds and the moment we are having right now will change its definition in a whole different way.

It surely will but our imagination what we wish to believe won’t, if it’s Sunny and we wish it to be rainy the fact won’t change that no matter what, we would want it to be rainy that’s the reality of our belief. And no matter what, it never changes, as humans we are very strong with what we wish to believe, it can differ time to time but it stays safe in a depth.

And they find a moment of departure for a new moment.

Sleeping with bottles

” there you are under the dark, under the grey ”

” do I look older than before, before we actually met ”

” well there is train running in middle of this night, I wish to not see it but take it, do you know where it will take me ”

” there is a saying, don’t run for the blues they hold you and when they do, they paint your heart ”

” I don’t mind, I don’t mind being unrealistic for a while or forever. It’s like never growing up. ”

” well here’s your whiskey, here’s your dream, here your everything and nothing ”

” are you aware that the windows are dirty and bed is on the floor and floor is almost made of bottles and ash, are you sure about what you are not sure of ? ”

” I will sleep with the night, if you wish , you can sleep with my soul or my skin, either way the night will pass, so will we ”

” trouble you look like, a beautiful trouble under this empty sky, this empty beautiful sky ”

” am i sinking in this sea of being charming or being charming is a way your thoughts live with ”

” I am just a tree around the corner of a lonely house, which is close to an ocean where lives a bird, alone and lonely in search of fish everyday, the shore sings for it and that birds drinks for it ”

” that’s a way of life I guess, in this street where no one follows silence anymore, here I am naked and messy while I see you drowning in my eyes ”

” I like the mirror which you hold in there, a lie and a truth, I wonder where I belong, if I do. ”

” I see you through the glass and it’s clear, a bit brown, a bit dark but it’s clear when I see you through it ”

” and when see what do you see ”

” a heart ache, a broken soul, a lonely traveller, meeting people, making conversations just to find a moment or a memory, just to live a new world for a moment, before it breaks or disappears ”

” cheers to that song of your heart, cheers to everything and nothing, let the smile live for a while before clock hits the bed and we fuck, and before we fuck drink till you can, smile till you can, let your laughter have a truth about you and me ”

” blind I feel under this broken shadow, where I am in search, the illusions, the void inside me, the happy me, the sad me, I wonder where I belong, where do I belong ”

” where do we all belong ? Where is the world, where are the people, just a mirage of everything. The cat above my house, the drunk every morning next to my door, the window which has a view or view which has a window, I hardly know what’s real, what unreal, what’s sad, whats happiness, wearing a thin layer of emotions in this thin air I live. ”

” will I come again, will I see you again, will this be just a fine chapter of where we belong ? Or will you forget me ? ”

” my door is broken “